Chronic illness can make you feel like you’re stuck on an island all by yourself with a hurricane crashing around you — while the rest of the world is a few miles away on another island, basking in the sun, playing volleyball and living life to the fullest.

The challenges and worries that accompany living in an unreliable body can be incredibly isolating at any time of the year, but especially so during the holiday season.

On top of feeling physically isolated, it can be emotionally challenging when friends and family members have a hard time fully comprehending the pervasiveness and depth of the chronic illness experience.

During the holidays, this often means having to miss out on celebrating with the important people in your life or making health-related accommodations that might be difficult to explain to loved ones.

There is so much power in knowing that “other people feel that too” when you’re facing a challenging situation — and that is precisely the purpose of this blog.

Collecting worries from our instagram community, I wanted to shine a light on the dark and stormy aspects of managing chronic illness during the holidays to remind you that even when it feels like it; you are not alone.

My hope is that scrolling through this list help to normalize and validate your own personal experience. When you see yourself in one, a few, many, or all of the following scenarios listed below, please remember this…not everyone will “get it”, but rest assured that there is a huge, invisible network of people across the world who do.

50 Things People With Chronic Illness Worry About Over the Holidays:

1. Missing out on fun and events to rest and take care of myself

2. Navigating the dreaded “how are you” or “what are you up to?” questions from family and friends

3. Dealing with the judgmental reactions of others when I need to make accommodations for my health (turning down the lights, opening the windows, dietary restrictions, etc.)

4. Worrying I will have a flare up and knowing how hard it will be

5. Having to explain to family members why I’m not feeling well

6. Responding to unsolicited advice

7. Managing the expectations of others

8. Being misunderstood and judged by family

9. Explaining the unpredictability and irregularity of my symptoms to people who just don’t “get it” — helping them to understand why sometimes I am “okay” and sometimes I am not

10. Keeping my nervous system calm and grounded when others’ energies are swirling around me

11. Disappointing family by not being able to do the things that I used to be able to do

12. Missing out on holiday events because of a flare up or bad migraine attack

13. Dealing with family who doesn’t understand or respect why I need to take breaks or rest

14. Feeling pressure to match the stereotype of partying on New Years Eve and knowing my body cannot handle that right now

15. Feeling FOMO and overstimulation at the same time

16. Handling the way social anxiety manifests in my body

17. Not being able to make it to all of the things that I want to attend

18. Explaining to people that most of my days have both good and bad moments, and that both are legitimate

19. Answering questions from family at Christmas about my health

20. People judging the legitimacy of my pain when I do show up

21. Feeling like I’m a drain on my family and friends because I am sick

22. Not making it to special occasions

23. Pacing myself for events

24. Wondering if people will think I am “faking it” because I can hide my symptoms so well

25. Feeling like I am a burden to those around me

26. A flare up striking at the wrong time and missing time with family and friends

27. Feeling out of it and not like myself with family when I have to take extra medication

28. Having to explain why I need to lay down or take breaks in the middle of events

29. Managing anxiety about extended periods of time out of the house

30. People pressuring me to drink alcohol at parties when I can’t (or choose not to) because of my health

31. Answering questions about health, school or work

32. Having a health crisis spurred by trying to do too much

33. Getting a flare up while traveling or having something happen on the airplane

34. Anxiety about when (or what) the next attack of sickness will be

35. Family tension that kicks up my pain

36. Lowering unrealistic expectations I place on myself

37. Advocating for my needs when it is uncomfortable to do so

38. Accepting there is a difference between how much I can push myself and how much I should push myself

39. Being able to show up for the people I love in the way that I want to

40. How to manage an attack when I am not at home

41. Getting sick on a long car ride and being trapped

42. Questions about my health from relatives, how to answer when their inquiries as to why I’m not “better yet”

43. Sticking to dietary protocols during events

44. Feeling like I am taking too much medication

45. Handling sensory overload from crowds, bright lights and music

46. Comparing what I can do to what others can do

47. Imposing unrealistic expectations on myself just because it’s “the holidays”

48. People assuming that I’m not trying hard enough to get well because I’m still sick

49. Explaining to friends back home that I’m not up to seeing them

50. Feeling like I am not enough

It’s hard when the most wonderful time of the year is also filled with pain and brain fog and fatigue. May this list provide you with some comfort and reassurance that you are not alone in your struggles.

As much as you can — give yourself the gift of self compassion, guilt free rest and acceptance of the things in this moment that you cannot change.

All My love,

Natalie

Natalie Sayre